Articles

It's all bones from here on out

These Pale Ribs Form A Yawning Cathedral Over A Beating Altar That Worships The Waterless, The Hunger -- & Other Touch-typing Sentence Exercises

Exploring the awe-inspiring and unsettling sight of pale ribs forming a cathedral over a beating altar that worships the waterless, the hunger, and the secretive touch-typing sentence exercises of its worshippers.

Living Deliriously. Yes, I Am Still In The Sinkhole

Learn how to embrace life's sinkholes and find moments of delirious joy with sage thinking, simpering, and an adroit approach.

I Thirst For Garlic Butter As The Arctic Tern Chases A Perpetual Summer

The Arctic Tern embarks on a remarkable journey each year, chasing a perpetual summer. This article explores their migration, stopovers, adaptations, and resilience. Learn from these magnificent birds and find solace in their pursuit of eternal summer.

Me In A Fight: You're Just Jealous My Blood Gets To Go All Over The Place While Yours Is Stuck In Your Stupid Veins

Fighting is an art, and I am a master in this domain. In this article, I will delve into the reasons why you're just jealous that my blood gets to go all over the place while yours is stuck in your stupid veins.

Putting Seams Inside The T-shirt Was A Great Call

Discover the benefits of putting seams inside t-shirts. From enhanced comfort to a streamlined appearance, learn how this simple design decision can elevate your wardrobe.

The Flesh Putrefies, The Machine Rusts, And The Divine Corrupts, And So The Rot Remains Supreme

In the depths of the human psyche, there exists a darkness that cannot be easily extinguished. It is a rotting force that lurks in the shadows, waiting for its chance to consume all that is pure and divine.

It Would Be Cool To Have Animal Features, But Imagine Your Manager Saying You're Not Wagging Enough

Have you ever wondered how cool it would be to have animal features? This article explores the idea of having animal features, the importance of wagging in the workplace, and the challenges that come with it.

Call Your Girl "bluetooth Speaker," The Way I Made A Temporary Connection With Her That She Will Always Remember

Calling your girl "bluetooth speaker" can create a temporary connection that she will always remember. It's a fun and unique way to form a bond with your significant other.

God Will Kill Thee Before Letting Thou Succeed, As Will Be Written On Thy Meagre Grave

Explore the notion that success is not easily achieved, and that it may require a divine intervention. Delve into the idea that even God Himself might stand in the way of our success, writing the epitaph of our failure on our meagre graves.

Men Invented Online Gaming As An Excuse To Talk On The Phone All Night Long With Other Men While Kicking Their Feet And Giggling

Discover the real reason why men invented online gaming, and how it has evolved into a platform for social connection and fun.

Hootin' Is A Gateway Drug To Hollerin'

Hollerin' is a true American tradition that allows individuals to connect with their roots and embrace their cultural heritage. Starting with hootin', individuals can transition into hollerin' and experience the benefits of this unique form of self-expression.

Thank You For Getting Back To Me, Your Email Finds Me Ripped Apart By Wolves

This article describes a personal journey of survival and transformation after finding oneself amidst a pack of wolves in the wilderness. It highlights the power of communication, building trust, and finding common ground, all while gaining a newfound appreciation for nature's beauty.

Our Teeth Were Perfectly Designed To Rend The Soft Flesh Of The Mozzarella, And 4 Other Great Beasts

Ever wondered why our teeth are perfectly designed to chew certain foods? In this article, we explore the fascinating adaptations of our teeth, focusing on the ability to rend the soft flesh of the mozzarella and four other great beasts. From the specialized incisors to the mighty molars, our teeth are a testament to the ingenuity of natural selection.

Should You Wear Dumb Gnome Hats Or Stupid Little Gnome Boots? Experts Weigh In

The debate over dumb gnome hats vs. stupid little gnome boots has divided gnome enthusiasts. While dumb gnome hats add a touch of whimsy and catch attention, stupid little gnome boots are practical and complete the overall gnome look. Experts agree that the choice ultimately depends on personal preference and the desired aesthetic. So, go ahead and embrace your inner gnome with your preferred accessory of choice.

Consider This: The World's Biggest Pistachio Has Gone Missing

The world's biggest pistachio has mysteriously disappeared from its display location, leaving the residents of Los Pollos shocked and bewildered. In this article, we explore the vanishing of this iconic landmark, examining possible scenarios and speculating on its fate. Join us on this intriguing journey as we investigate the disappearance of the world's biggest pistachio.